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There was an odd stirring yesterday. And being solstice there was a potency to the oddness. I generally do not watch for “signs” but I do pay attention. Yesterday driving into Ottawa to go to clinic there were two deer in different places dead on the side of the road. This is unusual on that road. The first deer, I startled like it had jumped out in front of me. As I drove, I was listening to a radio interview about the missing murder women, children and men from the indigenous communities across Canada. I cried all the way to Ottawa. I had a good day in clinic, working with smart, intuitive folks deep into their life journey with question and wonder. Then when I arrived home, our friend Sam who is teaching us bee keeping was in the garden. Before I even changed my clothes we had lifted the top and the super off the hive and were peering into the brood box. Sam showed me how to put my finger close to the bees and invite them to kiss it. Three bees approached my finger to taste my beingness. He said, now they will tell the other bees about you and within a week they will all know you as their friend. My heart swelled with the bee kisses and again I tears blurred my vision. And I feel like this is the paradox of this time: the tragedy and beauty. The question is, how to hold them both in my heart simultaneously. Tears of sorrow and tears of wonder help.

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